Today was the first day of our halfyearlys. Great start, only arrived a tad late ):
So the exams were English, Geography and History. I obviously didn't have the time to study for eng, so I was pretty much screwed. For geo and hist, I forgot my class. How embarrasing... I guess the eng was easiest ? I full studied in the break for geo and hist. Result ? Mindblanked. Facepalms right there, watch me ace your favourite subject.
During dinner, I was watching this reality show. Today's problem was that a man made his woman wait for him for five years. In the beginning, her mother won't let them be together. She made impossible standards to achieve and therefore the guy left with the idea of returning in a position to satisfy them. The guy came back and it was too late, she was engaged already and marrying in two months.
In the end, mum asked me, "if you were the girl, would you wait ?" I put you into the place of the man and i thought. If it was for you, I would. I would patiently wait for those years to pass. I said yes to mum, she said I was a crazy girl, I would seriously attempt suicide like the girl on the show. I thought about it, if you left me a note saying you will be back after a certain amount of time, I would wait. I wouldn't physically die, but hell yeah emotionally and psychologically. The motivation would be prolly chat history and albums...
I cried so much listening to this episode. It reminded me greatly of you. I remembered how you said in the future, when we grow up, we would go our separate ways. But you will become wealthy and search for me. I also remember how you said you'd keep me in your heart and soul in mushiie. Wish I could feel the warmth of thoses words being said to me again. Yeah, it's funny how I still remembered this, even though he helped me dump the memories already. Can you tell me why I remember them ? Anyway, I guess the reason of the fall was lack of communication in oppa's words. Yeahs the stupidity is still in me I guess. I really hope the result of my decision to not look back is in the favour of you. Because if it isn't, tell me, I'm willing to go back any day.
I miss you <3 ...
Monday, May 16, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
eleventh of may
Came on because my friend just had to remind me of this. It's been over a year since I've been on this site. Maybe it's because I don't want to think back to such perfect moments. The time when I was stupid enough to think I was the shttest thing on earth I guess. The time when I pushed you way beyond you could stand it, when I should've held on. The time when I had to let go...
I look back and I realised how much I had hurt you. Sorry. The ignorance that I had back then; gone because of that day. Tears wouldn't hold you back. I know it wouldn't. I had pushed it way too much, the only way was to push it all back to me.
But can you really forget it ? Maybe you can. However painful it is to remember, I still find it nice to think back. Maybe because of your endurance. Maybe because of your acting. Whatever.
Do you know how much pain I would feel when you're slightly down ? Did you know how much I wanted to help you ? But all you did was to smile and pretend everything's all good and all. Well that's not the case, even now. I want to be able to be there for you, like you did all that time. It's not easy to forget. It never easy to remember either, but after those obstacles and rebel times I had, I can't erase those memories.
I used to remember the words of nitee and sweet dreams. I never thought much about it and replied. But I now know how much of an impact it had on me. The calm and comfort it brings to... The other night, I had a nightmare. People say that you will forget what you dream of in the night after 3mins. But guess what, I remembered it all. Why ? You were related to it. I was dying in the nightmare, all I could do was cry and those memories flashed right past me. I was trying to grasp as many as I could, so I would still remember you in the next life. The moment I hung onto strongly was the one from camp. Since it was dark I slipped and I couldn't hear anything. It was at that moment when you caught onto me and I immediately felt warm from the cold night. That's what I wish right now. In this cold night, I would feel warm once again. I remembered it all, it's the only dream/nightmare I can remember.
However I'm trying to cover it up, I guess I really miss it...
I look back and I realised how much I had hurt you. Sorry. The ignorance that I had back then; gone because of that day. Tears wouldn't hold you back. I know it wouldn't. I had pushed it way too much, the only way was to push it all back to me.
But can you really forget it ? Maybe you can. However painful it is to remember, I still find it nice to think back. Maybe because of your endurance. Maybe because of your acting. Whatever.
Do you know how much pain I would feel when you're slightly down ? Did you know how much I wanted to help you ? But all you did was to smile and pretend everything's all good and all. Well that's not the case, even now. I want to be able to be there for you, like you did all that time. It's not easy to forget. It never easy to remember either, but after those obstacles and rebel times I had, I can't erase those memories.
I used to remember the words of nitee and sweet dreams. I never thought much about it and replied. But I now know how much of an impact it had on me. The calm and comfort it brings to... The other night, I had a nightmare. People say that you will forget what you dream of in the night after 3mins. But guess what, I remembered it all. Why ? You were related to it. I was dying in the nightmare, all I could do was cry and those memories flashed right past me. I was trying to grasp as many as I could, so I would still remember you in the next life. The moment I hung onto strongly was the one from camp. Since it was dark I slipped and I couldn't hear anything. It was at that moment when you caught onto me and I immediately felt warm from the cold night. That's what I wish right now. In this cold night, I would feel warm once again. I remembered it all, it's the only dream/nightmare I can remember.
However I'm trying to cover it up, I guess I really miss it...
Monday, March 8, 2010
my epic days T^T
080310~
Ohemgee.. -sighs- Todaiis was like epic as.. =.='
Pe; Gym; Torture. =.=' Got such a bad mark.. like twelve out of fifteen.. -sighs- I full stacked it in the beginning, such an awesome start. Everyone was like soo pro-er than mee.. -sad-
Geo was annoying. I soo didnt get anything the teacher said.. It was like soo many technical terms and it was like soo confusing =.='
Science was bludgy. Just did this worksheet like for the whole lesson. We were supposedly to have an evacuation thingy, but it got postponed due to 'bad weather conditions'. It was like hot as todaiis =.=' It was even going to rain.. Srsly, they needa go check their eyes, the sky was perfectly fines -meh-
Food was EPIC.. I hated from the start to the end.. Hated the teacher. She's soo annoying, if she doesnt believe us then fine then. At least talk nicer to us, and treat us properly.. Just cause she cant control a class, she blames everything on us.. People walking pass our classroom might think shes pmsin. Well seems like its a permanent psm -sighs- She cant cook properly and she expects us to.. So much for following a recipe is the basic fundemental stuff to cooking. She cant even read a recipe.. Srsly get a life miss. =.='
How epic was my day.. Actually not rly, but just the last lesson made me have an emotional breakdown.. =.=' Byes.
Ohemgee.. -sighs- Todaiis was like epic as.. =.='
Pe; Gym; Torture. =.=' Got such a bad mark.. like twelve out of fifteen.. -sighs- I full stacked it in the beginning, such an awesome start. Everyone was like soo pro-er than mee.. -sad-
Geo was annoying. I soo didnt get anything the teacher said.. It was like soo many technical terms and it was like soo confusing =.='
Science was bludgy. Just did this worksheet like for the whole lesson. We were supposedly to have an evacuation thingy, but it got postponed due to 'bad weather conditions'. It was like hot as todaiis =.=' It was even going to rain.. Srsly, they needa go check their eyes, the sky was perfectly fines -meh-
Food was EPIC.. I hated from the start to the end.. Hated the teacher. She's soo annoying, if she doesnt believe us then fine then. At least talk nicer to us, and treat us properly.. Just cause she cant control a class, she blames everything on us.. People walking pass our classroom might think shes pmsin. Well seems like its a permanent psm -sighs- She cant cook properly and she expects us to.. So much for following a recipe is the basic fundemental stuff to cooking. She cant even read a recipe.. Srsly get a life miss. =.='
How epic was my day.. Actually not rly, but just the last lesson made me have an emotional breakdown.. =.=' Byes.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
home alone :D
070310~
Piano was normalish agains. Finally finished another song =.=' Took me how long.. -thinks- Two months? Whoa.. soo long.. -sighs- Epic fail much..
After the piano lesson, it was drama time ^^ Just continued from where i left off last time. Still watching the drama Devil Beside You. I still reckon the main characters are like soo cutee -smiles-
girl: if my dad was alive then we'd never have met
guy: wrong. we would definitely meet. we were born destined to meet. even without our parents, we still wouldve met. maybe it wouldve been at a manga rental store. wed rented the same manga set, so we met. or... at qing zi's part-time job. youd clumsily spilled soda on me, so id be unlucky enough to know you. or it mightve been at a movie theatre. your seat being next to mine, and you feel asleep and drooled on me.
girl: i would never ;]
guy: in this world, in and possible corner, we would meet, because i would find you. only you can make me right.
"Yali, will this letter help me make you stay? im not sure at all. at the thought of you leaving, my heart feels like it has a hole. i can only use regret and doubt to fill the hole. as time ticks by this heart with its empty hole, contains only pain and no other feling. if theres no tmw then today i would like to tell you thank you for having loved me. each day that i lose you, i can only say to the you in my heart. im sorry didnt love you the way you should be loved." <-- that's soo cutee ^^ and sad =O
Anwaiis that should do for todaiis ^.~
Piano was normalish agains. Finally finished another song =.=' Took me how long.. -thinks- Two months? Whoa.. soo long.. -sighs- Epic fail much..
After the piano lesson, it was drama time ^^ Just continued from where i left off last time. Still watching the drama Devil Beside You. I still reckon the main characters are like soo cutee -smiles-
girl: if my dad was alive then we'd never have met
guy: wrong. we would definitely meet. we were born destined to meet. even without our parents, we still wouldve met. maybe it wouldve been at a manga rental store. wed rented the same manga set, so we met. or... at qing zi's part-time job. youd clumsily spilled soda on me, so id be unlucky enough to know you. or it mightve been at a movie theatre. your seat being next to mine, and you feel asleep and drooled on me.
girl: i would never ;]
guy: in this world, in and possible corner, we would meet, because i would find you. only you can make me right.
"Yali, will this letter help me make you stay? im not sure at all. at the thought of you leaving, my heart feels like it has a hole. i can only use regret and doubt to fill the hole. as time ticks by this heart with its empty hole, contains only pain and no other feling. if theres no tmw then today i would like to tell you thank you for having loved me. each day that i lose you, i can only say to the you in my heart. im sorry didnt love you the way you should be loved." <-- that's soo cutee ^^ and sad =O
Anwaiis that should do for todaiis ^.~
Saturday, March 6, 2010
flashbacks to the wierd train day ;]
060310~
Chinese was epic fail. It was like soo boring.. =.='
Tutor was again the highlight ^^ Yes porn and sht again -sighs- This time i suppose it wasnt a positive highlight, more weird and awkwardish -sighs- English and maths was normalish. But science on the otherhand.. Jeez the teacher soo wont let go of the fact that this guy so called 'likes' me.. =.=' Like srsly, wtf bruhh? The teacher is like asking us if we have questions for eache other. Like dont students ask teachers and teachers just ask the textbook..? So the teacher asks this guy to ask me a question. And this guy just asks about like somesht relating to his abs.. Like ohemgee wtf? Then the teacher goes on about this guy should ask me out and sht.. Wtf is wrong with the teacher =/ And also the teacher talks about how his looks are soo awesome and hes got a good personality. Bs he does, all he does is think about porn all day ;]
Dones for todaiis =O
Chinese was epic fail. It was like soo boring.. =.='
Tutor was again the highlight ^^ Yes porn and sht again -sighs- This time i suppose it wasnt a positive highlight, more weird and awkwardish -sighs- English and maths was normalish. But science on the otherhand.. Jeez the teacher soo wont let go of the fact that this guy so called 'likes' me.. =.=' Like srsly, wtf bruhh? The teacher is like asking us if we have questions for eache other. Like dont students ask teachers and teachers just ask the textbook..? So the teacher asks this guy to ask me a question. And this guy just asks about like somesht relating to his abs.. Like ohemgee wtf? Then the teacher goes on about this guy should ask me out and sht.. Wtf is wrong with the teacher =/ And also the teacher talks about how his looks are soo awesome and hes got a good personality. Bs he does, all he does is think about porn all day ;]
Dones for todaiis =O
Friday, March 5, 2010
blehh =.='
050310~
-sighs- Todaiis started off sunny and then it suddenly turned a depressing grey. Continuous rain since end of school till nows =.='
Commerce, got our quizzes back from yesterday. It was just above average; 36/40 -sighs- Better study thoroughly before the next commerce exam =.=' But the lesson was pretii bludgy -smiles- Cause like we were at the computers for the lesson. And we were doing this asx sharemarkert game thingy. It was pretii fun, considering we are at a loss rather than profit -sad- Hope the share we bought will rise soon.
Maths, continual of the stupid topic -sad- We received common test pass papers todaiis. It's gonna be ages till i finally finish it TT''
Pe was ishish. Just did summaries and sht.
English was boring =.=' We had to do these rfp speeches. And i didnt even prepare mine =.=' Thank goodness the teacher didnt choose meh, or i wouldve been having so much trouble in improvising on th spot -sighs-
Hope rain shall cease within the break of dawn.. bb :]
-sighs- Todaiis started off sunny and then it suddenly turned a depressing grey. Continuous rain since end of school till nows =.='
Commerce, got our quizzes back from yesterday. It was just above average; 36/40 -sighs- Better study thoroughly before the next commerce exam =.=' But the lesson was pretii bludgy -smiles- Cause like we were at the computers for the lesson. And we were doing this asx sharemarkert game thingy. It was pretii fun, considering we are at a loss rather than profit -sad- Hope the share we bought will rise soon.
Maths, continual of the stupid topic -sad- We received common test pass papers todaiis. It's gonna be ages till i finally finish it TT''
Pe was ishish. Just did summaries and sht.
English was boring =.=' We had to do these rfp speeches. And i didnt even prepare mine =.=' Thank goodness the teacher didnt choose meh, or i wouldve been having so much trouble in improvising on th spot -sighs-
Hope rain shall cease within the break of dawn.. bb :]
Thursday, March 4, 2010
pathetic but hapii ^^
040310~
It rained a tad todaiis.
English was -thinks- like normal? I guess. Except i lost like 20c to my friend =.='
Pe; gymnastics. Stretched a tad too muchies -meh- We had an assessment todaiis. And we had no notice whatsoever. Actually we did..just not the date. Anwaiis we had to put together 5 positions/movements to create a routine. Luckily it was all floorwork, and we got to choose any 5 we learnt. Me and a few of my friends didnt get to practise on the beam for the next routine, so we hope next prac lesson we get to practise a bit. I got a pretty good mark for the assessment. I wouldve like given my self like 7/15, but the teacher was like lenient as and gave me fourteen -smiles-
Commerce was just pathetic. We had a quiz =.=' It was like 15 qu but it was like hard. Well probs cause i didnt study the right things T^T
Maths was like english; normal. Continued on from our algebraic techniques topic =.=' Still doing the most hated quadratics -sighs-
Todaiis was like pathetic much? Byes :]
It rained a tad todaiis.
English was -thinks- like normal? I guess. Except i lost like 20c to my friend =.='
Pe; gymnastics. Stretched a tad too muchies -meh- We had an assessment todaiis. And we had no notice whatsoever. Actually we did..just not the date. Anwaiis we had to put together 5 positions/movements to create a routine. Luckily it was all floorwork, and we got to choose any 5 we learnt. Me and a few of my friends didnt get to practise on the beam for the next routine, so we hope next prac lesson we get to practise a bit. I got a pretty good mark for the assessment. I wouldve like given my self like 7/15, but the teacher was like lenient as and gave me fourteen -smiles-
Commerce was just pathetic. We had a quiz =.=' It was like 15 qu but it was like hard. Well probs cause i didnt study the right things T^T
Maths was like english; normal. Continued on from our algebraic techniques topic =.=' Still doing the most hated quadratics -sighs-
Todaiis was like pathetic much? Byes :]
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
bludgy days TT''
030310~
Science was boring. Since we had to copy from like a rly rly long overhead =.=' And thats all we did the whole lesson; copy an overhead and highlighting some point thingys.
Food was bludgy. We had a sub cause our teacher went somewhere? Iono. Suprisingly i'd prefer my actual teacher compared againts the sub. Cause the sub was my yr7 science teacher. Which is soo depressing, the sub just brings back bad memories -sighs-
Maths was eww.. We did quadratics todaiis.. I hate quadratics.. It's like a retarded topic. Anwaiis it's like a topic i actually get in maths, so it was alright. Anwaiis my friend's class had a topic test. And afterwards, they were like saying how different it was. And yehs.
English is such an 'awesome' subject to end the day off -sighs- I'd laugh if someone agreed to my sarcastic statement. What did we do the whole lesson? I remember us copying something from a textbook and that was it? Ohemgee.. We srsly didn't do anything the whole lesson then? Who cares.
And a Happy Birthday to Bri ^^
Science was boring. Since we had to copy from like a rly rly long overhead =.=' And thats all we did the whole lesson; copy an overhead and highlighting some point thingys.
Food was bludgy. We had a sub cause our teacher went somewhere? Iono. Suprisingly i'd prefer my actual teacher compared againts the sub. Cause the sub was my yr7 science teacher. Which is soo depressing, the sub just brings back bad memories -sighs-
Maths was eww.. We did quadratics todaiis.. I hate quadratics.. It's like a retarded topic. Anwaiis it's like a topic i actually get in maths, so it was alright. Anwaiis my friend's class had a topic test. And afterwards, they were like saying how different it was. And yehs.
English is such an 'awesome' subject to end the day off -sighs- I'd laugh if someone agreed to my sarcastic statement. What did we do the whole lesson? I remember us copying something from a textbook and that was it? Ohemgee.. We srsly didn't do anything the whole lesson then? Who cares.
And a Happy Birthday to Bri ^^
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
pretii alrites :]
020310~
Hehe -smiles- Todaiis mee was like high ^^'' Yesterday i watched Good News Week. And they were doing this guessing a piece of news game. And one of the piece of news was about how "watching porn 16hrs is ok". It's like wow.. =.='
Food was -silence- I'm like ashamed for payin 50 for nothing =.=' The teacher cooked stuff cause todaii was like dem day. So we watched the teacher cooking. Well so-called cooking.. When she finished i srsly couldn't believe she'd want to eat it O__O
Geography felt like short as.. We got an assignment, which was like due on the 2nd last day of this term =.=' How awesomee, we get an assignment after our exam yesterday..
Science was alright i guess.. Talked about plate tectonics and disasters =.=' Then we just started talking about yesterday's show and random sht -smiles- After class we were rushing to sport. Even though we played home, it was like at this park, which was at an alright distance.
We lost against the opposition by 1 point.. Like i think it was 12-11.. The other school's teacher wanted to time, which meant like leave the game and the score would be counted from the previous innings.. But no, our teacher made it fair and said to finish the inning =.=' Yesyes it was fair.. But we could've won? Like totally..? Oh wells, they were a pretty good school =/
After the game, we practised our batting and fielding skills. All of us batted like soo much better during the practising session, which was probs our training time [without the teacher really helping us].
Hope we can smash the next school ^^ Byes.
Hehe -smiles- Todaiis mee was like high ^^'' Yesterday i watched Good News Week. And they were doing this guessing a piece of news game. And one of the piece of news was about how "watching porn 16hrs is ok". It's like wow.. =.='
Food was -silence- I'm like ashamed for payin 50 for nothing =.=' The teacher cooked stuff cause todaii was like dem day. So we watched the teacher cooking. Well so-called cooking.. When she finished i srsly couldn't believe she'd want to eat it O__O
Geography felt like short as.. We got an assignment, which was like due on the 2nd last day of this term =.=' How awesomee, we get an assignment after our exam yesterday..
Science was alright i guess.. Talked about plate tectonics and disasters =.=' Then we just started talking about yesterday's show and random sht -smiles- After class we were rushing to sport. Even though we played home, it was like at this park, which was at an alright distance.
We lost against the opposition by 1 point.. Like i think it was 12-11.. The other school's teacher wanted to time, which meant like leave the game and the score would be counted from the previous innings.. But no, our teacher made it fair and said to finish the inning =.=' Yesyes it was fair.. But we could've won? Like totally..? Oh wells, they were a pretty good school =/
After the game, we practised our batting and fielding skills. All of us batted like soo much better during the practising session, which was probs our training time [without the teacher really helping us].
Hope we can smash the next school ^^ Byes.
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